Responsibility: A First Step

It’s hard to believe it’s been close to a year since I last wrote anything.  I made it a little over four months in my new job, but the fallout lasted a lot longer.  I asked to be put back into my previous title.  They did it.  Now it still haunts me.  I worry those on the outside, looking in with a partial view, have judged me as a failure.  Note to self:  don’t do that again.  Ever.

But, I have to take ownership for the fact that I applied for that job.  I have to own that I let it take over my life for much longer than four months.


What life did my decisions create?

This is my public (it doesn’t get more public than the internet, right?) admission that the current state I find myself in (which honestly is pretty good overall) is entirely my doing.  I made the decisions that got me here.  My decisions were:

  • Applied for what I thought was a promotion even though I had some concerns
  • Took the offer that came resulted, even though it wasn’t what I applied for
  • Only tried so hard to push back even a month into the role
  • Allowed things to progress to the point where:
    • I stopped logging all my food
    • I wasn’t making time for workouts
    • I was stress eating instead of dealing directly with the issues
  • Finally stood up for what I really wanted out of life:  balance which for me means time with my family and friends on my terms
  • Allowed myself to wallow in the fallout for months, even longer than the time I was in the role, rather than returning to the pattern that worked so well for me

Finally, I’m admitting I created this.  I gained weight.  Around 30 lbs.  Not really a small amount.  Most of my eating is healthy overall, but I have a sweet tooth and really it comes down to portion sizes and a complete lack of regular workout schedule. But, overall it’s pretty great.  I have time for the things I care about.  I’m able to do the things I care about and work is rewarding again.

Where next?   I think they always say that admitting you have a problem is the first step.  So, I admit it.  All I really need to do (and it’s so simple) is get back on a regular workout schedule and log what I eat.

Cause & Effect?

What series of choices have resulted in the life you have now?  I know where I started and how I got here.  How might realizing how you got to your current situation enable you to move in the direction you really want to go?  What decisions can you make next to take that first step in the right direction?

First step is “admitting you have a problem.”  Second step is actually making that positive decision.

Wishing you an All+SUM LIFE,
– Sarah

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