Break it Down: Unapologetic

This word is also one that can be totally misconstrued.  The last thing I want people to think is that what I’m going for is this “holier than thou” attitude where I think I never have to apologize.  If you take the concept of All+SUM LIFE and you go there with it, then I’ve seriously missed the mark with my message or you’re seriously just looking for anything you can to justify actions that deep down you know are wrong.  If you are doing things to hurt people, if your intentions aren’t good, if you’ve unintentionally hurt someone (legitimately and not this whole butt-hurt thing we’ve got going on these days) and you’re refusing to apologize, I sincerely hope you experience what you’re doing to people someday so that you can have that ah-ha moment and be a better person.

What I do want people, women especially (yes I’m gender stereotyping), to take away from the concept of “unapologetic” is that you do not and should not apologize for being uniquely you or for being successful.  You should not have to apologize to someone who refuses to own their life, especially if you have worked hard to earn that successful life you’ve always wanted.  You should not have to apologize for making choices to ensure that you have long term mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual health.  These are not selfish choices!  If you constantly run yourself on empty, it negatively affects the people closest to you.  This is one I struggle with – sorry is one of the first words on the tip of my tongue if something goes wrong (regardless of the cause).  Saying sorry doesn’t get to the root of the problem.  Saying sorry when it’s not your problem to own gives others permission to keep doing what they’re doing because you’ve just taken the blame or it.  Saying sorry when someone has tried to make you feel bad for having personal boundaries undermines your “why” and your chances for success because now you’ve just given them permission to believe you’ve actually done something wrong.

What does successful look like for me if I’m “unapologetic?”  I am allowing myself to feel accomplished & proud of the work that I do which means that I am not feeling guilty for being rewarded for a job well done.   I am using words other than “I’m sorry” in complex / tough situations and I am apologizing only when my actions have caused harm to others

 

Wishing you an All+SUM LIFE,
– SUM Sarah

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